Photo illustration by Ben Park, who is nothing if not authentic.

Overpriced Band T-Shirts Are For Clowns. Except This One

Cool it, poseurs.

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Feb 4 2019, 2:17pm

Photo illustration by Ben Park, who is nothing if not authentic.

This vintage band T-shirt trend has gotten entirely out of control. Celebrities, who ruin almost everything, have basically run it into the ground. We have people out here paying big bucks for dingy T-shirts promoting bands they either don’t know or don’t like. Where I come from, we call that STOLEN VALOR. What If I started walking up to offenders on the streets of New York, demanding they sing a few bars of a deep cut of the band they are boldly displaying on their chest? I am guessing most would fail!

I don’t have the solution to this epidemic, but I do have a very expensive colorful T-shirt to share.

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This $500 Happy Mondays long sleeve says to the world: “I did a lot of drugs and I have excellent taste in music.” What more could you ask for from a colorful cotton garment! It commemorates a massive gig the band played at Leeds United football ground on June 1, 1991 with The La's, The Farm, and Northside. If someone approaches you demanding that you recite lyrics, dance like Bez or do your best Shaun Ryder voice, and describe your on-trend outfit: “It’s gotta be a loose fit/ It’s gotta be a loose fit/ Don’t need no skin tights in my wardrobe today/ Fold them all up and put them all away.”