Photograph by Jacopo Raule for Getty Images.

I’ve Been Lost for Six Hours in Moschino’s Insane JFK-Marilyn-Jackie-O Conspiracy Theory

Was Jackie O a robot?! Jeremy Scott says yes!

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Feb 22 2018, 6:34pm

Photograph by Jacopo Raule for Getty Images.

Greetings from the darkest depths of the deepest k-hole, where I have been digging myself since I read Jeremy Scott’s backstage interview with WWD about the inspiration behind his Fall 2018 collection for Moschino, in which models were painted otherworldly hues of green and yellow and sported psychedelic Jackie O boxy tweed suits with pillbox hats.

“Marilyn [Monroe] was told by JFK there were aliens and she decided that she wanted to come forward with this publicly,” Scott told WWD. I always wondered what those two talked about!

But wait—it gets weirder: “The government killed her and then had to kill him for sharing this information, OK?” Scott said this theory is widely circulated online—and indeed, just last year, the documentary Unacknowledged promoted this claim, alleging that a document with unspecified origins stated that the government wiretapped a conversation between journalist and What’s My Line panelist Dorothy Kilgallen and Hollywood super-agent Howard Rothberg, in which they discussed another wiretapped conversation between Monroe and Robert Kennedy, in which those two discussed Monroe’s breakup with not one Kennedy brother, but both. Rothberg said Monroe had “secrets to tell,” including a totally far-out whopper about the president’s visit “to a secret air base for the purpose of inspecting things from outer space.”

Things! From! Outer! Space!

Kilgallen said that would be really embarrassing for Kennedy, because he wanted to put men on the moon and it would obviously make him look super dumb if he was like, “Wow, folks, check out this crazy flute aliens make out of rocks from Saturn” or whatever "things from outer space" he allegedly inspected. (I then lost two hours to reading about how the moon landing was totally fake, by the way.) When relations with the Kennedy brothers went sour, according to this wiretap of a wiretap, Monroe threatened to hold a press conference to “tell all,” so the government had her killed, which ufologist Steven M. Greer calls “a tragic situation” because, as an actress, Monroe “didn’t understand the national security state and the viciousness of those who want to keep these sort of secrets.” (Frankly, Monroe probably understood the national security state better than anyone, but whatever.)

But back to Milan Fashion Week. (2018: what a year!) Scott took this conspiracy theory and ran with it like the bad-ass maniac he is. “I take it one step further and ask, ‘Was Jackie an alien? Was she an android? How did she endure the pain and grieving of the assassination? All the ridicule about her being such a haute, snotty Bouvier too good to be an American icon? How did she do that if she was actually human?’”

WOW.

But wait: did Marilyn know Jackie was an alien? When Scott says that Marilyn was going to “come forward with this publicly,” does he mean that Marilyn was going to tell the fine people of America that their icon of feminine elegance was in fact an extraterrestrial?! Will Sophia the Robot become the first female president of the United States? Where is the French Girl’s Guide to Being an Alien? Is My Week with Marilyn actually a Star Wars prequel? Was the women who allegedly replaced Avril Lavigne actually Marilyn Monroe’s ghost? Did JFK make love to a robot? Are Lorde and Marilyn Monroe the same age?! We’ll have to wait for Moschino Resort to find out. I’ve never felt so giddy about a pre-collection!