Fashion Horoscopes: The Signs as Billie Eilish Songs
Are you “hostage” or “ocean eyes”?
Photo by June Calypso. ©︎Takashi Murakami/Kaikai Kiki Co., Ltd. All Rights Reserved.
“I’ll sit and watch your car burn with the fire that you started in me.”
Can someone get me a glass of water? Because this Aries energy is HOT! Aries is both a fire sign and the sign of the self. Arieses are famous for their aggressive tempers, and can be egocentric. In “watch,” Eilish channels her unrequited love into anger rather than sadness, and wonders if her crush is still thinking of her. Arieses want to make an impression. Yet, above all, they prize their independence. They’re self-reliant, resourceful, and enterprising. Eilish asks, “When you call my name, do you think I’ll come running?” But we already know she won’t. An Aries certainly wouldn’t.
Taurus: “Six Feet Under”
Taurus, sweet Taurus…Taurus is a fixed earth sign, which means stubborn to the max. When a Taurus decides they like something, they mean it, and that includes their people! They’re extremely loyal and committed to the people around them, and that doesn’t end when you say it does! As a result, Taurus is a sign that loves its exes. “Six Feet Under” is a brooder in which Eilish wonders if her relationship is truly dead. Taurus moves slowly in every aspect of life—and, unfortunately, that extends to moving on.
Gemini is the sign of the twins, known for its duality and adaptability. One twin can be outgoing, social, and charming, but Gemini’s other twin is often forgotten—the sensitive, softer side that few get to see. This moody side that sometimes surprises friends and family members, who know Geminis for their wit and humor. Because Gemini is an intellectual air sign, they often rationalize emotions. This serves to keep others at a distance from their vulnerabilities, some of which they may not even understand themselves, as they tend to prefer the head to the heart. Their quick, mercurial energy can be prone to anxiety, like the insecurities Eilish describes throughout “idontwannabeyouanymore”. Yet, Gemini is an adaptable and mutable sign, and Geminis are more likely to reinvent themselves or let their more positive twin take the reins when feeling thin-skinned. This is where Gemini’s reputation for an unreliability personality kicks in. A wounded Gemini is more likely to hide their emotions, adopting the identity they feel like showing you in the given moment. In Eilish’s words, they look in the mirror and choose to reinvent: “I don’t wanna be you anymore.”
Like the crab they’re named for, Cancerians hold tight to the things they love. When they fall in love, they fall hard, and want to possess their lover’s body and soul. They are among the most caring people in the zodiac, and want to tend to their loved ones’ every need. For the most part, they’re romantic, intuitive, extremely loving creatures. But their sensitivity can sometimes lead them to jealousy and clinginess. In “hostage,” Eilish sings about wanting alone time with her partner, and a desire to build a wall around the two of them, to “hold [them]…like a hostage.” Though her song takes a dark, manipulative turn, Cancerians’ possessiveness is rooted in a need to feel close and secure in their relationships.
Leo: “you should see me in a crown”
Leos are the sign of royalty! They were born to reign, ahem, to wear crowns. They’re independent and proud—not your baby. Leos listen to this song while they strut and pretend that the world is their runway. They glare at passersby through the chorus and imagine that people around them are wondering, “Who is this fabulous, poised person who somehow seems taller than me despite me being taller than them?” They put this song on their exercise playlists and feel like they can take on the fucking world. And who knows? They might be right. They’re probably going to run this nothing town someday.
Virgo: “come out and play”
The song “come out and play” serves as advice to the classic Virgo. The lyrics address a shy person afraid of revealing all of their talent to the world. Eilish encourages them, saying ,“You’ll never know until you try it.” Virgo is an anxious earth sign, known for being detail-oriented, analytical, and perfectionist. But his perfectionism can hold Virgos back! They’re their own harshest critics, and sometimes feel that their work will never be up to par. They can be reserved, which Eilish addresses by saying, “You don’t have to keep it quiet.” Virgos, release your power! Show the whole damn world your talents! Don’t be shy! We love you!
Libra: “my boy”
Libra is the sign of the scales, so it cares deeply about what’s fair, including one’s contribution to a relationship. In “my boy,” Eilish sings about a boy who’s not “lov[ing] her like he promised.” Though Libras can be very conflict-averse and self-sacrificing, they won’t stand for imbalance for very long. The boy depicted in this song is dishonest and immature, but Eilish’s focus on the disparity in the effort they put into the relationship is what makes this the Libra song of choice. She reinforces the point as the song closes with, “You want me to be yours, well they you gotta be mine.” A Libra won’t tolerate uneven scales.
I’m not calling Scorpios sociopaths, but I AM calling them the sign that has the most fun pretending that they’re capable of being a serial killer. In “bellyache,” Eilish takes on the persona of a girl who has killed her lover and friends, leaving her with the aforementioned guilt in her stomach. Themes of romantically-charged revenge and lyrics about a mind in the gutter confirm that this is the Scorpio Eilish anthem.
Sagittarius: “bitches broken hearts”
Ah, Sagittarius. The heartbreaker of the zodiac. Eilish, a Sagittarius herself, uses this song to taunt her ex. She knows you miss her. She knows you want her back. But, like…too bad? Sagittarians are wanderers, eternally curious and easily bored with normalcy. In love, this can make them restless, prone to short relationships and moving on quickly. They cut off negativity and bounce back fairly easily. Self-reliant and independent, Sagittarians don’t mind being alone. In fact, sometimes they prefer it! So, unfortunately, some of you bitches may end up with broken hearts. :/
Can I get a hell yeah for a good depression bop?! I’m going to level with you: Capricorn is one of the most pessimistic signs, and among the signs more likely to experience depression. “Lovely,” a collaboration with Khalid, ruminates on Eilish’s relationship with her depression, solitude, and the way out. Capricorn is a sign that very much prizes its alone time, which can be a slippery slope to isolation! Capricorns are known for their extreme pragmatism and realistic outlook, which helps them in the workplace but can prevent them from seeing the bright side of things. It can also cover their sensitive hearts, as Capricorns take a long time to trust people! Heart made of glass, my mind of stone.
Aquarius is the individual of the zodiac—and don’t you forget it! You’re italic, they’re in bold, bitch! Ruled by Uranus, the planet of change, disruption, and rebellion, Aquarius wants to stand out. This comes out in everything Aquarians do—their mannerisms, their style, their speech. So, obviously, they inspire copycats. Eilish, who is an Aquarius moon, wrote this song because, frankly, bitches kept copying her unique style, and it was getting annoying. Hey, sometimes you have to call out your clones.
Pisces: “ocean eyes”
Honorable mention: “WHEN I WAS OLDER”
When Eilish, a Pisces rising, sings, “No fair / you really know how to make me cry / when you give me those ocean eyes,” the Piscean energy shoots through roof. Eilish’s brother, Finneas, wrote this song, and it has Pisces written all over it. It’s calming and beautiful, with imagery of the ocean and lyrics about falling in love. Pisces is a sensitive water sign symbolized by the fish. Pisceans are kind, soft-hearted romantics who love deeply. They’re prone to idealizing their loved ones, looking at them through rose-colored glasses and focusing on the best parts of them: their ocean eyes.