What Can You Hold In Jacquemus's Nano-Bag?

Simon Porte Jacquemus sure knows how to get people talking about his eponymous label. Once upon a time, this was due to an extraordinarily large straw sun hat that had everyone chirping (though some of that chatter turned malignant when a crediting controversy arose).

But now, for Fall/Winter 2019, SPJ has scaled back—way, way, way, way, way back. Say hello to the Mini Chiquito bag. It is here and it cannot be ignored, despite the fact that it is the accessory equivalent of a no-see-um or a plankton. We’ve been around mini bags before, but this is new. This is the nano-bag.

So what might one carry in Jacquemus’s nano-bag? A lot of shit, as it happens. Just not all at once.

A list for you to consider, if you’re in the market for a nano bag:

1. Bound-together staples, ready to load, just in case.

2. A pet ladybug. OR a pet black widow if you're dangerous.

3. Cocaine!

4. One packet of Sriracha.

5. A button because this is fashion.

6. Some sand from that life-changing wellness retreat you took in Tulum. (Ugh.)

7. Listerine strips.

8. Your wedding ring.

9. A pinch of pink Himalayan salt, in case the restaurant you are at does not have.

10. Fake eyelashes.

11. A very small quartz, in the event you’re into crystals.

12. Another pet ladybug, because being all alone in there would be sad.

13. Nothing at all because this bag is completely ridiculous.

That being said, we do like it as a belt-loop accent or a keychain. Load up!