Watch Roger Stone Decode the Secrets to Courtroom Sprezzatura: 30-Year-Old Underwear and Single-Breasted Suits

Now that he’s been indicted, the political strategist can really start dressing.

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Jan 31 2019, 8:02pm

“As you know, I’ve always believed that the clothes make the man,” rasps Roger Stone in the video guide to dressing for court he just released on the Daily Caller, where he serves as “men’s fashion correspondent.” In a truly selfless act of patriotic duty, we’ve summarized what we learned from Stone’s “How to Dress for Your Day In Court” video, to save you the indignity of clicking on a Daily Caller link.

Don’t dress above the voters. Stone borrows this campaign-trail maxim for his court ‘fit, claiming he didn’t want to wear “one of my double-breasted Savile Row English suits” to plead for clemency because “it would be a little too wealthy-looking, and I’m dirt-poor at this point.” Silly Stone, don’t you know a cheap, poorly assembled outfit is a hallmark of true wealth?

Take notes from Nixon. “You can’t ever really do this in a double-breasted suit, it doesn’t ride up properly, so you have to do it in a single-breasted suit,” Stone opines. “This” is the widespread V-sign configuration that 37th U.S. President Richard M. Nixon habitually used, most infamously as he departed the White House after resigning. Stone, of course, borrowed the gesture during his indictment; this advice seems to suggest that he plans to repeat it while making his way in and out of court.

Select your shirt for maximum pathos. Stone extols the virtues of his Windsor-collar shirt, a favorite of princes Charles and Philip, but pay attention to the shirt itself, not his description of it; it’s slightly rumpled, an unusual-for-Stone piece of sartorial chaos that my colleague Rachel Tashjian theorizes might be an example of sprezzatura, or “studied carelessness.”

Don’t be afraid to be sentimental. Stone points out his onyx cufflinks, which he states were “a gift from, I think it was my first wife.” Ah, the sanctity of marriage.

Nod to film history (when appropriate.) “These shoes are by C.J. Cleverley,” Stone notes, but he’s wrong! Wrong! The shoes are actually by G.J. or George Cleverley, better known as the Phantom Thread cobbler, who does not appear to go by “C.J.” Unless C.J. is the knock-off brand?

Gross everyone out. Stone’s underwear is “Charvet, from Paris,” and comes in at a whopping 30 years old. What’s longer; the amount of time that underwear has been in Stone’s possession, or the amount of time he faces in prison?