Fashion Horoscopes: The Signs as Teen Queens
Are you Blair Waldorf or Cher Horowitz?
Photo via Amazon.
Aries: Viola Hastings (She’s the Man)
- IS good enough to play with the boys!!
- Will steal your girl
- Will flash you on a football field
- Tough tomboy swag
Taurus: Kat Stratford (10 Things I Hate About You)
- Self assured and self reliant
- Doesn’t fake it with people she hates
- Not afraid to call out patriarchal bullshit
- Accepts gifts as apologies
Gemini: Olive Penderghast (Easy A)
- Total superiority complex about her intelligence
- Always replies in witticisms and quips, does great impressions, likes the attention
- Sees no initial problem with lying when it doesn’t hurt anyone and only stops when people start treating her differently
- Reveals her story via… web blogging (Mercury has entered the chat)
Cancer: Lara Jean Covey (To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before)
- Holds onto love letters from her childhood, sheesh, a sentimentalist!
- Re-reads romance novels
- Ideal night would be at home watching movies with her sister
- Likes thrifting her clothes! Cancers appreciate nostalgia and vintage things!
Leo: Regina George (Mean Girls)
- A caveat: Aries moon, Scorpio rising
- Egotistical, controlling, and authoritative
- Impulsive and self-centered
- Lives for the spotlight
- A Little Bit Dramatic
Honorable mention: Jackie Burkhart from That 70’s Show, who would run across the beach into her own arms if she could
Virgo: Tracy Flick (Election)
- Razor sharp overachiever
- Well-meaning know-it-all that would run this place RIGHT if you idiots would let her
- Puts her aggression into hard work (making Pick Flick buttons)
- Bright, smart, and prepared
Libra: Cher Horowitz (Clueless)
- Spoiled but she’s sweet and kindhearted so it’s okay
- Loves helping others
- Favorite activities include socializing, shopping, and hanging with her bestie
- Cares deeply about her wardrobe, pop culture, AND other people!
Scorpio: Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
- THE Queen B
- If she doesn’t fuck with you, you’ll know it
- Knows how to seethe, stew, and hold something over your head
- Outwardly alpha, but internally sensitive (see: reluctance to be vulnerable about her feelings for Chuck; cruelty towards Serena in season one is mostly a result of the loss of trust since Serena 100% fucked her boyfriend)
Sagittarius: Juno MacGuff (Juno)
- Speaks almost entirely in jokes, especially to hide when she’s scared or nervous
- Rebellious and goofy (no idea who barfed in Bren’s urn)
- Uncomfortable with moving a friendship to a relationship
- Has never filtered her thoughts from her mouth once in her life
Capricorn: Veronica Lodge (Riverdale)
- Expensive taste and an eye for quality
- Intelligent, with good judgment, but a feisty, fiery moon (TBH I completely agree with this ananlysis of her chart by)
- Mature and self-aware enough to change her ways after leaving New York
- Once retaliated against someone threatening Archie by blackmailing his dad into paying her $1 million
Aquarius: Effy Stonem (Skins)
- Secretive as fuck
- You don’t get to know her unless she wants that, and even then, you may not be granted the right to understand her feelings (RIP Freddie)
- Fears emotional vulnerability
- The girl everyone was obsessed with on Tumblr in 2009
Pisces: Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)
- Loyal BFF to Peyton!
- Beloved in high school = Pisceans are known for being kind and open to people!
- Inner demons about her parents’ neglect, but overcompensates by seeking love, attention, and connection elsewhere
- Becomes a fashion designer = the watery artistic eye!