Fashion Horoscopes: The Signs as Teen Queens

Aries: Viola Hastings (She’s the Man)

• IS good enough to play with the boys!!
• Will steal your girl
• Will flash you on a football field
• Tough tomboy swag

Taurus: Kat Stratford (10 Things I Hate About You)

• Self assured and self reliant
• Doesn’t fake it with people she hates
• Not afraid to call out patriarchal bullshit
• Accepts gifts as apologies

Gemini: Olive Penderghast (Easy A)

• Total superiority complex about her intelligence
• Always replies in witticisms and quips, does great impressions, likes the attention
• Sees no initial problem with lying when it doesn’t hurt anyone and only stops when people start treating her differently
• Reveals her story via… web blogging (Mercury has entered the chat)

Cancer: Lara Jean Covey (To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before)

• Holds onto love letters from her childhood, sheesh, a sentimentalist!
• Re-reads romance novels
• Ideal night would be at home watching movies with her sister
• Likes thrifting her clothes! Cancers appreciate nostalgia and vintage things!

Leo: Regina George (Mean Girls)

• A caveat: Aries moon, Scorpio rising
• Egotistical, controlling, and authoritative
• Impulsive and self-centered
• Lives for the spotlight
• A Little Bit Dramatic

Honorable mention: Jackie Burkhart from That 70’s Show, who would run across the beach into her own arms if she could

Virgo: Tracy Flick (Election)

• Razor sharp overachiever
• Well-meaning know-it-all that would run this place RIGHT if you idiots would let her
• Puts her aggression into hard work (making Pick Flick buttons)
• Bright, smart, and prepared

Libra: Cher Horowitz (Clueless)

• Spoiled but she’s sweet and kindhearted so it’s okay
• Loves helping others
• Favorite activities include socializing, shopping, and hanging with her bestie
• Cares deeply about her wardrobe, pop culture, AND other people!

Scorpio: Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)

• THE Queen B
• If she doesn’t fuck with you, you’ll know it
• Knows how to seethe, stew, and hold something over your head
• Outwardly alpha, but internally sensitive (see: reluctance to be vulnerable about her feelings for Chuck; cruelty towards Serena in season one is mostly a result of the loss of trust since Serena 100% fucked her boyfriend)

Sagittarius: Juno MacGuff (Juno)

• Speaks almost entirely in jokes, especially to hide when she’s scared or nervous
• Rebellious and goofy (no idea who barfed in Bren’s urn)
• Uncomfortable with moving a friendship to a relationship
• Has never filtered her thoughts from her mouth once in her life

Capricorn: Veronica Lodge (Riverdale)

• Expensive taste and an eye for quality
• Intelligent, with good judgment, but a feisty, fiery moon (TBH I completely agree with this ananlysis of her chart by)
• Mature and self-aware enough to change her ways after leaving New York
• Once retaliated against someone threatening Archie by blackmailing his dad into paying her $1 million

Aquarius: Effy Stonem (Skins)

• Secretive as fuck
• You don’t get to know her unless she wants that, and even then, you may not be granted the right to understand her feelings (RIP Freddie)
• Fears emotional vulnerability
• The girl everyone was obsessed with on Tumblr in 2009

Pisces: Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)

• Loyal BFF to Peyton!
• Beloved in high school = Pisceans are known for being kind and open to people!
• Inner demons about her parents’ neglect, but overcompensates by seeking love, attention, and connection elsewhere
• Becomes a fashion designer = the watery artistic eye!