Screengrab via Amazon.

Fashion Horoscopes: The Signs As Cartoon Dogs

Are you Balto, or Brian Griffin?

by Courtney Perkins
Jan 9 2019, 3:18pm

Screengrab via Amazon.

Aries: Balto from Balto

Brave leader. Front of the pack. Physically active. Balto is the lead sled dog that ran with his team across Alaska to bring medicine to the city of Nome before an outbreak could occur! Exactly the kind of heroic, exciting, urgent mission that speaks to an Aries! Based on a real dog, so it’s got the authentic honesty Aries needs. Balto and Aries share the inner drive to go the distance.

Taurus: Napoleon from The Aristocats

Protective watchdog. Lives in France, but will never lose that stubborn Southern accent. Concerned with rank, and mostly how he outranks you. Kinda grumpy in comparison to his enthusiastic, overeager sidekick. Is the leader, and says when you’ll go. Grabs the tender part for himself. Taurus vibes.

Gemini: Goofy from A Very Goofy Movie

Well, duh! Gemini is a goofy sign! They love being center of attention and making people laugh. They’re also known for their extreme curiosity and intellect! Goofy follows his son Max to college in A Very Goofy Movie, combining Gemini’s desire to learn with their desire to stir shit up in one beautiful film. Goofy just wants to have FUN, which is perfectly congruous with Gemini’s sunny disposition and adventure-seeking attitude!

Cancer: Perdita from 101 Dalmatians

Cancer is a sign known for their nurturing energy. They’re extremely loving and family-oriented. Perdita has 101 children — 15 puppies of her own, along with the other 84 she decided to adopt in order to save them from Cruella de Vil. Like Cancer, she’s a fierce fighter and a protective mama pup!

Leo: Mr. Peanutbutter from Bojack Horseman

A born entertainer. Charming, became famous on accident, easily likable, just wants to make you laugh. Mr. Peanutbutter is a Leo! Mr. Peanutbutter’s greatest pleasure is making his loved ones happy! He has charisma out the wazoo and loves grand displays of affection and lavish gift giving. He’s not afraid of a challenge, like running for governor with no experience, and he always has an optimistic attitude! I’m sorry, excuse me — Erica!

Virgo: Courage the Cowardly Dog

No matter how cool, calm, and collected they appear to be, every Virgo is secretly Courage the Cowardly Dog on the inside. Anxious. Wailing. Knows something bad is going to happen. Though Virgos aren’t necessarily “cowardly,” they are often live wires of nervous energy. Virgos are known for their foresight and detail-oriented nature; they like to prepare for the worst. This sometimes comes out as pessimistic anxiety, akin to Courage’s signature shudder!

Libra: Lady from Lady and the Tramp

This bella is a Libra! Lady is refined and elegant, charming and pampered! A sweet lil romantic, she takes a chance and falls for Tramp! All signs point to Libra - a sign ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and art. If a Libra were a cartoon dog, you better believe they’d make themselves the pretty dog and then write that dog a love story.

Scorpio: Scooby Doo

Hey Mystery Gang! I found a Scorpio! Scooby Doo spends all of his time sniffing around for humans lying! He’s part of the group, but we all know that at the end of the day Shaggy is the one he’d die for. Scorpios are extremely loyal! What makes Scooby a Scorpio though is that he’s always thinking and trying to solve mysteries, sniffing people’s clothes before we know they’re the villain... Scorpio culture.

Sagittarius: Dante from Coco

Dante travels across the bridge to the Land of the Dead on Dia de los Muertos as Miguel’s spirit guide in Coco. Sagittarius is always on the hunt for meaning! As the most philosophical sign, they seek truth and often love travel! An optimistic sign, Sagittarius also possesses a light-hearted sense of humor. Dante has the goofy, playful attitude of a Sagittarius! Or just a dog. Sagittarians are pretty dog-like.

Capricorn: Brian Griffin

First of all, Brian Griffin has a full name and mostly acts like a human. This is an independent and in control dog. Every Capricorn has acted like an adult since they were in middle school, so it makes sense that they’d be the most self-aware dog. He’s smarter than the other dogs, and he knows it. He’s got the classic cynical wit of a Capricorn, along with a healthy side of condescension.

Aquarius: Snoopy

“What an independent dog. He comes and goes as he pleases.”

Loves chillin’ on his own. Loves going on adventures. Doesn’t really need Charlie Brown to come along with him because he’s independent and fun! Doesn’t really care what anyone thinks! Aquarians have active, curious minds and love learning new things. Snoopy has multiple talents (flying planes, surfing, playing piano) and none of them are remotely related to each other! He’s a freethinking Aquarius!

Pisces: Dug from Up

“I have just met you, and I love you.”

A Pisces can find a way to see the good in anyone, just as Dug instantly loves the grouchy old man in Up! Dug is sweet and instantly cuddly, like a kind, empathetic Pisces! Pisceans can sometimes struggle with being pushovers (picture: Dug yelling “Stop, you dogs!” as he gets run over in a stampede), but they find strength in sensitivity! Both Dug and Pisces have open hearts and are ready to love!

bojack horseman
Looney Tunes