What Will Justin Bieber's New Line of 'Natural Deodorant' Smell Like?

We have a few guesses.

by Emma Specter
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May 23 2019, 6:09pm

Singer and beige-clothing entrepreneur Justin Bieber is bringing his streetwear-forward, vaguely sticky-seeming brand to (wait for it...) beauty. King Biebs announced on Wednesday that he's launching a natural deodorant line. called Here + Now with cruelty-free brand Schmidt's, a venture he celebrated with a triumphant, bare-torsoed Instagram shot.

There's no launch date yet for the deodorant in question, and not much other information has been made available about it, although we do know it will be "plant-based" and thus sure to be a hit within the Park Slope mom/skater dad Venn diagram.

Since we're simply unable to wait for more details about the Biebs's deodorant, we took a few guesses as to what its scent profile might be.

Empty bottle of Gatorade in your ex-boyfriend's dorm room. As this Julio Torres tweet exemplifies, there's nothing more "straight guy" than an empty Gatorade bottle in a mothball-and-sock-filled room, and straight guys notoriously <3 Justin Bieber...so much that they might just want to smell like him.

Supreme deck found underwater. Sort of like this barnacle-encrusted Citibike, but mustier and with a more crisp eau de money to it.

Hillsong prayer candle smoke. The hypebeast-ly devout need to mask their body odor just like the rest of us.

Freshly unboxed Nikes infused with Hailey Bieber's natural scent. Because she's probably too cool to wear perfume.

Erewhon's Coconut Bulgarian Rose Water organic cold-pressed juice. Mixed with just a hint of mango Juul smoke.

Armani Prive Rose d'Arabie. It is Bieber stylist Karla Welch's fragrance of choice, after all.

Sweaty, unwashed 25-year-old guy. Occam's Razor, baby! The simplest explanation is always the most likely one.