Photo illustration by beautiful lover of beautiful dogs Ben Park.

A T-Shirt For Dog Lovers Without Dogs

Our columnist defends the lack of a canine in his life.

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Nov 7 2018, 1:28pm

Photo illustration by beautiful lover of beautiful dogs Ben Park.

I have a confession that may disappoint “the ladies” (by which I mean the fitspo influencers who follow me on Twitter): I have never had a dog. My mother, an actual clean freak, wasn’t interested in a slobbering, shedding animal taking up residence in her perfectly organized suburban southern home. That cleanliness stuck with me. It just seems gross, and dogs can’t even work out, so what would we talk about? I understand the unconditional love aspect, but I have gone this long without it, so I think I will be fine.

All of that being said, I am not a heartless monster. When I see a cute dog on the street, I will grin. I particularly love the chow chow (aka “puffy-lion dog”) because they look absolutely ridiculous. But cuteness is not enough to make me rearrange my life to accommodate a creature into my home. It ain’t happening.

When I saw this collaboration between Japan’s Big Love Records and Brooklyn’s own go-to screen printers/brand LQQK Studio, I felt that familiar T-shirt feel: intrigue. The two dogs emblazoned across the chest are strangely appealing, almost regal. Never having owned a dog (did I mention that?), I wondered if I could wear this cool T-shirt without being branded a poser. After some reflection, I said exactly what I think when I consider going to the gym twice in one day: “Fuck it, I can do whatever I want!” It’s not like I have a dog to look after! I can wear a T-shirt with dogs on the front and never have to pick up shit off the sidewalk. I have it ALL FIGURED OUT!

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